I am a hopeless romantic. There’s no getting around that. My husband, on the other hand, is as close as a person can get to being dead inside. Most of what he feels is never expressed, not because he keeps it bottled up, just because he doesn’t feel like it needs to be addressed. To him, emotions are about as discussion-worthy as what he had for lunch on any given day.
This has been a struggle for us. Our needs are very different. He doesn’t need affection and sentiment on the same level as me. And that’s okay. As long as we’re open and honest about communicating our needs to each other. We’re both know-it-alls, but neither of us is a mind reader.
One thing that I need is holidays, birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries. Yes, I realize that may qualify as four things, but I need all of them for the same reasons, so to me they are one and the same. I need the anticipation and excitement. I need that special and sometimes exclusive feeling. I need to celebrate for silly little reasons. And I need it to be acknowledged that sometimes those silly little reasons are really the big picture, epic kind of things in our life.
If the moments that bring you and all your favorite people together in joy aren’t what it’s all about, then I don’t know what could be.
Today is Sweetest Day—a holiday my husband usually forgets and one that I actually forgot this year. A lot of people see Sweetest Day as a Hallmark-created holiday meant only to convince people they need to spend extra money on unnecessary things. I get that, and when I’m being logical and detached, I agree.
But when my husband brings home the most touching card, takes me to Malley’s to pick out chocolates, and to Hibachi for a simple, yet delicious dinner, then Sweetest Day is epic and wonderful.
If I hadn’t worked in the floral and jewelry businesses in which I’ve helped countless people pick out little I love yous for their special someones, then maybe I wouldn’t long for my own little I love you. And maybe if Bill were more of a natural romantic, we wouldn’t need the calendar to dictate how and when we show our affection.
But we are who we are and our lives have been what they are, so this year I really needed Sweetest Day. And he came through big time.
Please don’t think that my husband doesn’t show love in ways other than material gifts. He does, every damn day. He works his ass off so our bills get paid while I’m wandering around aimlessly trying to find my career path. He does his very best at handling my overly emotional states and he shows his own emotions in subtle ways that require no words at all. He is wonderful.
And just as he has learned to show affection in the ways that I need, I’ve learned to see and appreciate the ways in which he naturally shows love.
This is our marriage. And it is far from perfect, but it is the only one we get. So every day, we’re fighting for it. That means during the life-changing, crazy difficult days and during the sweet and simple, easy to forget days.
Happy Sweetest Day to you and yours! I hope you take a minute today to show a little love and affection to the wonderful people in your life. And if you’re too much of a rebel to do it today, then tomorrow will do. But just for thought, is rebelling against the man important enough to possibly miss your chance to say I love you one more time?