the best of intentions

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abridesmusings — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:04:38 -0500

leftcoastjane: Such a tiny thing, registering, voting. Did you...

abridesmusings — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 19:57:04 -0400

Such a tiny thing, registering, voting. Did you ever get even one tiny thing from PBS? Did you or your kids grow up with Sesame Street? Make the time, take the time. Please.

leftcoastjane: Such a tiny thing, registering, voting. Did you...

abridesmusings — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 19:56:14 -0400

leftcoastjane:

Such a tiny thing, registering, voting. Did you ever get even one tiny thing from PBS? Did you or your kids grow up with Sesame Street? Make the time, take the time. Please.

anthropologie: Via: Reasons To Breathe Mark Shaw Photography

abridesmusings — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 19:51:49 -0400

anthropologie:

Via: Reasons To Breathe

Mark Shaw Photography

He gets it right every. damn. time.

abridesmusings — Fri, 25 May 2012 21:09:51 -0400

He gets it right every. damn. time.

this blog has been relocated

abridesmusings — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:26:19 -0500

this blog has been relocated:

Please follow the above link to find new content.

Thanks,

-SJW

25 clever ideas to make life easier

abridesmusings — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 23:48:40 -0500

25 clever ideas to make life easier:

There are far too many good ideas not to pass this link along.

2012: january goals and resolutions

abridesmusings — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 16:28:54 -0500

Yesterday, I basically turned into the New Year’s Resolution version of this crazy lady:

I have to admit, I got rather ambitious with my forty point list. But I’m confident that we can do this. Like I said, having a plan makes this completely manageable. So I ~~got out a calculator~~ did the math, and to accomplish 40 things in 12 months I have to conquer 3.33 of them per month. Except I don’t know how you conquer a third of something and so many of the things on this list aren’t one-and-done to-dos.

So, that means figuring out what can be checked off in a month and what has to be done a little at a time over the next 361 days.

Here a few things that I feel can be accomplished this month:

get a day job
get up and get moving: no more sleeping in during the week
- these two pretty much go hand and hand
touch up paint in the kitchen
find local primary care doctor, OBGYN, dentist
get rid of the old: clothing donations to Goodwill
make a plan
- set monthly goals
- get back to daily to-do lists
read two books

For January, I’m trying to build up confidence and momentum, so I stuck with the quick check items—one of which has already been half completed. (I spent Monday going through my closet and have a pretty sizable donation that’s headed straight to Goodwill on Friday!)

As far as a plan is concerned, that is the big goal for this month and I think we’re getting there. I’m sure that as soon as my Emily Ley Paper Simplified Planner shows up in the mail we’ll be cooking with gas!

The other BIG thing about January 2012 is that next Monday (01.09.2011) I will officially be relocating BEST. That’s right, we’ll be saying thank you to tumblr for a fantastic 1+ year, waving goodbye, and showing up over on Blogger. I love tumblr and have been very happy with every day spent writing here. But a writer/blogger’s true yardstick for measuring success is comments, and that just isn’t a part of tumblr’s interface. I assume because it’s really intended to be used in a similar, albeit less organized, manner as Pinterest. And although I do get some great feedback through Facebook comments and tumblr reblogs, I need more. I need comments directly tied to my posts and I need reader statistics. I need to be able to conduct surveys. I need the tools to measure and adjust. And baby, Blogger’s got what I need!

So there you have it. 2012: Phase One!

Onward and upward, folks. Gotta find that sweet spot and build my own upswing!

And just for good measure, this is what my world looks like these days.

2012: 40 fine print resolutions

abridesmusings — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 10:40:00 -0500

For those of you that have been following along, you know that I’m full of resolutions for 2012. And you were warned that today would be the micromanaging phase. But I doubt you ever imagined a 40 point list organized into 8 categories. Yeah, it’s one extreme or the other with this girl.

And considering 2011 was the year of not doing shit and being quite worthless, 2012 is intended for the complete other end of the spectrum.

I’ve always been a resolutions junky. But I usually favor the vague and abstract resolutions that I whisper to myself while falling asleep on New Year’s Eve. But with the downslide that was last year I realized how much better I am with a plan—with to-do lists and tiny little goals that can lead to the much bigger picture.

So I broke it down, way down. And I know what you’re thinking, there is no way this crazy girl is going to make 40 life changes at once and keep them going all year long. But that’s not what I’m asking of myself. Many of these things are one and done to-dos rather than year long goals, but completing them will contribute greatly to my big picture resolutions. Also, I’m planning on staggering the start of these so that it’s not quite as overwhelming.

Personal

choose happiness
forgive yourself for the last 2.5 years
be present and proactive in your life
conquer your fear of failure
have a plan

Professional

get a day job
write everyday
relocate the blog
build blog archive
submit short stories for publication
always finish whatever you start writing

Financial

get all bills paid off and/or caught up
learn to live on a budget
start emergency savings account
plan for big purchases: iPhone, Macbook Pro, TV, new car
start approaching your wardrobe as an investment, choose quality pieces

Domestic

remodel bathroom
touch up paint in kitchen, master bedroom
get new light fixture for master bedroom
paint living room, office, dining room
look into new living room furniture, flooring solutions

Health

find local primary care doctor, OBGYN, dentist
get up and get moving: no more sleeping in during the week
learn to value your body/your health/your life
renegotiate your relationship with food
remember the mental and emotional benefits of exercise
finally break that soda addiction for good
keep a food diary

Relationships

family: call more; host a summer party at the house; cherish every moment with Nana and get all those amazing stories out of her
friends: call/text/email/facebook and most definitely visit more
husband: gift him rest and gratitude for all the work/holding us both up he did in 2011

Organization

get rid of the old: clothing donations to Goodwill
get recycling set up in pantry
set monthly goals
get back to daily to-do lists

Extracurricular

read at least two books a month
take more pictures
explore your city
watch less television
get the dogs outside to exercise more

So, that’s it. That’s how I do resolutions. At least in 2012. And simply setting these goals, coming forward and publicly declaring that this year I will try my best, that in and of itself is an achievement.

Tomorrow we’ll discuss my plans specifically for January, when it’s all about building confidence and endurance. There is lots of work to be done and it’s going to be a long year.

^They don’t have very big plans for 2012. Just a lot more of the usual.

2012: big picture resolutions

abridesmusings — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 10:00:05 -0500

“And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been.”
—Rainer Maria Rilke

I am a big believer in resolutions. We went into last year with simple goals: settling into our new life together, recovering from the chaos that was 2010, and finding the peace and time to be bored. Although the measurable state of our lives remained rather stable in 2011—zero funerals, only one newborn, one puppy, no moving trucks, no wedding planning, no bridesmaiding or groomsmening, and very little home renovating—it was an exhausting year full of personal battles and unspeakable obstacles.

And we have made it to the other side. Not only are we here, but we are better for every scar this year has left in its wake. And we are hopeful.

Some of those aforementioned battles are part of much larger wars. Wars that we will continue to fight together in 2012 and for as many years as is required. But those are things we cannot control.

And this year will not be dictated by the aspects of this life that are not within our jurisdiction. This year we will be active in the quality of our lives. This year will be about conscious decisions and passionate commitments. This year will be about the present and the future. This year will be big. This year will be ours.

If nothing else, I wish you all the optimism to approach 2012 with your very best.

I’ll be back tomorrow with the micromanaged version of my 2012 goals.*

_______________

*You (nor I) will never get that kind of detail out of B, so I only speak for in the plural first person in a broad sense.

2012: girl, you gonna do it this year

abridesmusings — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 21:17:35 -0500

I need big things from 2012. And according to Yahoo, I won’t be let down. I put very little stock in things like horoscopes, but it’s always nice to feel like the stars are on your side. It always makes doing the work a little easier.

Also, after reading my husband’s horoscope, (Sagittarius) our good fortunes seem to line up pretty well. So if I’ve done the math right, and these things are even 50 percent accurate, then between the two of us 2012 should be 100 percent amazing.

2011: As I choose to remember it.

abridesmusings — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 10:39:00 -0500

As you may well know, 2011 was complete shit for us over here at Chez Wilt. But it’s almost over, thank God, and we’ve chosen to be positive about things. So here is what went right during the past 12 months.

I chopped off all my scraggily long hair and started to feel a little more like myself.
My college roommates came up for a visit and we more than made up for lost time. There were confessions, cocktails, five star burgers, dancing, creepy basement bars, a sleep over, and the worst hang over of my life. So completely worth it.
In their honor, I finally got our first floor half bathroom painted.
In the aftermath of what was a terrible 4 am sewer water in our basement wake up call, we got a new furnace and hot water tank. Positive people, we’re being positive.
My favorite brother-in-law got married!
Gavitron Turned 1!
We did some serious yard work out front.
We brought home Isabelle, who despite chewing everything, (seriously: EVERYTHING) has been some much needed new life for our little family.
Momma Hatmaker got real brave and finally opened the gift shop she’s been wanting her entire life. She’s had an amazing first six months or so and I am so damn proud. Frankly, I want a bumpersticker.
We went to the zoo! Let’s be honest, I’m a simple girl.
I went to New Jersey. On a plane. To see the besite. Seriously, this was most definitely one of the top 3 things about 2011. That trip was perfect!
I turned the big 2-5! We took time off work to celebrate in our fabulous little city.
I worked up the nerve to quit the WORST job I’ve ever had.
I read, a lot!
We celebrated our first wedding anniversary!
Grayson was born to some of the most amazing parents a baby could ask for. And on New Year’s day we are finally gonna get our buts over to meet him.
My alma mater blew up YouTube with the coolest thing you’ve ever seen a marching band do.
We put up a gate so that the little girls can have free reign of the backyard.
BEST turned one. We celebrated with post #100.
I baked, a lot.
I got to spend 24 hours in the happiest place on earth with two of my very best friends.
Our girl got married! And it was wonderful.
We had days that looked like this:
And just a couple that looked like this:
I found an amazing community of friends in the Nosy Bitches.
We hosted family on Christmas for the very first time. And I didn’t take a single photo.
Dorothy came into our life with sweet little promises for a delicious 2012.

So there you have it, 2011 as we choose to remember it. To be honest, this list is a lot longer than I expected. And I suppose that’s a good thing. Because as much as we’d all like for 2012 to feel instantly different, better, it probably won’t. I have faith in my plans and resolutions, but change on that scale is never instantaneous. It will take time and there will be set backs. And on those horrible days, I will look back on this list and remind myself that in retrospect 2011 was better than it ever seemed to be in the present. So 2012 will most likely be the same.

We are happy to report, that 2011 is most definitely closing on an upswing. There are so many good things to come and I will be back next week to tell you all about them. Until then, enjoy the last moments of this year and know that you will be better for everything you’ve been through.

Be safe this weekend and welcome 2012 with open arms. Possibility is a powerful thing.

Love and gratitude,

Sarah, Bill, Rory, & Isabelle

She’s trying to kill me with photos of my home. So...

abridesmusings — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 09:01:07 -0500

She’s trying to kill me with photos of my home. So beautiful. So damn far away.

er—ka:

Taken in Athens, April 2011.

hi! my name is cody dority and i saw that you were talking about OU and i just had few questions if you dont mind!:) if its not too much to ask i was wondering what you did/had to get in (act/sat/recommendations/gpa ect.) ? i was also wondering when you applied and how long it took for you to find out that you got in? its my top choice and i really want to know my chances! also if you could tell me anything else that about OU that you liked or didnt like! thank you!:)

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 19:50:59 -0500

Of course! I love sharing my OU story. But it was almost 7 years ago when I got accepted, so I don’t remember everything, but here is what I do remember.

My high school GPA was around a 3.4, but I took Advanced Placement courses and my school didn’t weight them, so it probably should have been higher. My ACT score was a 27 and I didn’t take the SAT. I have no idea if I had to have recommendations or not. I did apply and get into the Scripps School of Journalism, so I know that there were a couple extra steps I had to take for that. I don’t remember when I submitted my application, but my acceptance letter is dated December 9th. Also, I was very involved in extracurricular activities during high school.

I walked away from OU was drug away from OU loving absolutely everything about it. It was difficult at times, but I think the transition from high school to college is almost always difficult. And I was five hours away from my family, so that was probably the hardest part. I’m not sure what size school you’re coming from, but OU is pretty big—about 17,000 undergraduate students. But I never felt lost there. Going into it with a decided major probably had a lot to do about that.

I could go on and on, but Tumblr is telling me that I’m too chatty. So if you have any other questions, let me know. Also, I’d love to hear more about you. Might be able to provide some more specific info. Congrats on making a great choice and good luck!

disappointment

abridesmusings — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 13:34:03 -0500

Being a little girl and having all the most important people in your life look at you with pride and excitement, tell you about your potential, about your ability to do anything in this life, especially about the gift you have that is priceless and beautiful…

All of that was so wonderful. All of that left you with big dreams, wide eyes and an open heart. All of that led you to where you are now:

Disappointed. Frustrated. Heartbroken.

Apparently that gift is not priceless, but worthless. It’s nice and people like you for it, but it won’t get you anywhere. What you are and what you have is a luxury, a nicety. What you need is to be essential. You need to be required and at your very best you are optional.

And now you must abandon your talent and your dreams, you must abandon yourself and submit to a life of servicing the skills of other people. People who were smart enough to pursue something that is valid and worthwhile.

Now, you will never be more than they need you to be. You’ll never go farther than they allow you to.

You will not tell stories and give beauty to the world. You will not provide comfort to strangers or change anyone’s life. You will not write anything on the pages of this earth that is worth reading. When it is all said and done, you won’t be remembered or missed. You will only be replaced by a younger and less desperate version of yourself.

There was a very small window of opportunity for those things—for that life—and you were too afraid to jump. You did not trust in your ability and honor your skill. You held back for fear of failure.

Well, now you have failed and this is your punishment.

May you chose more wisely in your next life.

best friends

abridesmusings — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:03:39 -0500

Remember back in June when I took my first ever plane ride to spend four days in New Jersey with this lovely lady (whose pockets don’t normally hang out like that)?

Well, today, for about the 100th time since we met, she proved to be completely worthy of being the girl I fly for.

While I was in Jersey, we were wandering around shopping and I spotted the lovely and charming painting I’d been coveting for months—Jack Vettriano’s “The Singing Butler.” This painting hung in the Boston apartment where B and I spent our honeymoon.

It hung just above the radiator and is barely visible in the only photos I have of it—which is surprising considering I took 790 photos (I know!) while we were there.

But here’s what it looks like hanging in my dining room!

Yep! She remembered. And ordered us a print. Had it shipped from California. Tracked it down when it went missing due to a ripped shipping label. And ensured it arrived safe and sound.

I had no idea what I was opening, but knew that if it came from her, it’d be good as gold. So I practically tackled the FedEx man and ripped it open like a child on Christmas morning. When I realized what I had, I started crying like the kid who breaks their new toy before December 26th.

But they were tears of joy.

Having a friend who does like she does, remembers like she remembers, and loves like she loves, is a beautiful and priceless gift.

wanted: katy perry's blond(ish) locks

abridesmusings — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 22:25:22 -0500

Never before in my life have I wanted to be blonde. But this…

Amazing.

Fresh.

Covet-worthy.

Also: She looks a bit like Kaley Cuoco (whom I also love) here.

via

And: Her husband is a bit like Johnny Depp on acid. Translation=I love him.

both via

the man i never met

abridesmusings — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:01:47 -0500

HIV/AIDS changed my life before I was even born.

Yesterday was World AIDS Day, and although I knew my personal story would make the most profound statement on that day, I instead chose to quietly and personally honor the man I never met.

Less than a week before I was born, my uncle passed away from complications due to AIDS. He was my father’s brother and we were meant for each other. He was supposed to be that person I flocked to. He was supposed to share all the joys and passions of his life with a wide-eyed little girl who thought he could do no wrong. He was supposed to tell me silly and whimsical stories about a little girl elephant trying to find her way. He was supposed to show me the beauty of music, dance, and theater. And as I grew, he was supposed to be that person I huddled with at family parties and spent the entire night talking about everything and nothing at all.

He adored my mother and the minute he found out she was pregnant for the second time, he told anyone who would listen about how I most definitely would be their little girl. You see, Hatmakers are boys. And they make more boys. And a little Hatmaker girl hadn’t shown up in far too long. But he knew I was on the way, and as my parents always tell me, that brought him so much happiness and eased the pain of his disease.

Now, twenty-five years later, I still miss him and long for all the moments we didn’t get to share. But somehow, I have discovered and rejoiced in all the wonderful things he was meant to gift to me.

Despite being born the clumsiest girl in America, I spent so much of my childhood in a leotard and tights. I have stood alone on a stage in front of my family and classmates and I sang as loud as I could with the hope that he might hear me. I have performed live music for hundreds of people and received a standing ovation or two in my life. I have stood, eyes closed, in the middle of thousands at Blossom Music Center and felt the true rush of great performers in every fiber of my being.

And most endearing, at a very young age, I fell in love with elephants—the giant creatures that also claimed a special place in his heart.

Somehow, he found a way to speak to me, to give me the best this world has to offer. And for that, I am so damn grateful. I am so happy and proud of the ways in which we are similar. Being like him just feels like being me.

But it is my greatest hope that one day, the enduring pain and the uncontrollable scope of this disease is a thing of the past. No one should have to suffer like he did. No one should have to wonder like I do.

the long weekend that was: miss nora is getting her jingle on

abridesmusings — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:26:33 -0500

Although Thanksgiving itself was quick, unphotographed, and a little chaotic, the long weekend was glorious.

We rested, a lot.

I baked MY VERY FIRST PIE! (Which is probably much bigger news than you realize. I have always found pie to be intimidating.) And although the apples didn’t break down quite as well as I’d hoped, it was pretty damn tasty. Probably going to try some golden delicious(es?)* and add a little more cinnamon next time .

I deep cleaned our living and dining rooms and put out all the holiday decorations. This is the only time of year when I love having red walls and green furniture. It makes everything seem just a little more festive.

The ceramic nativity set that my Papa painted and put aside just for me so many years ago is by far my favorite of all our decorations. My grandmother shipped to me from Florida two years ago and it has since moved to the top of my Material Things I Would Go Back Into a Burning Building After list.

We enjoyed the full extent of HBO’s free preview weekend. DVRd a couple movies, caught an episode of True Blood, and TWO episodes of How To Make It In America. We had HBO in Columbus, but can’t justify adding it to our outrageous stack of bills here in Cleveland.

And Sunday evening, we completed the three day process that was assembling, lighting, and ornamenting our giant new tree (also known as my parents’ ten year old tree).

Then we hit the grocery store for 10 days worth of delicious meals. Monday I met up with some of my high school best friends (including my lives-in-Delaware, introduced-Bill-and-I, was-my-matron-of-honor, forever-and-always BEST friend Kristy) for a lunch date. Finally, I hit up Target and one Cyber Monday sale to get started on my Christmas slash Bill’s birthday shopping.

And all of this went down while I was fighting the beginning stages of my annual cold. So basically… we’re gonna own the shit out of the holidays this year, whether Bill wants to or not.

Tomorrow we’re taking the photos for our Christmas cards and hopefully getting the outside lights up on the house over the coming weekend. This is our first year for that, so our Christmas domination may short-circuit on this one. (Lights. Short-circuit. See what I did there?)

I have a couple more crafty projects up my sleeve, dozens of cookies to bake, and lots of gifts still to purchase and wrap, but we’re starting the season off strong. I might just give THIS nut job a run for her money in 2011.

so very thankful

abridesmusings — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 20:50:44 -0500

It’s been a rough year again. Can’t remember the last one that felt easy. However, it is in the times of great need that the people who are my world step up and make all the difference. For helping me survive another hell of a year, I am thankful for:

the husband that never quits
furbabies that are always within an arm’s length
parents that have eternal faith in me
a nana who always knows the right thing to say
brothers and a sister-in-law who make me laugh no matter the circumstances
in-laws who want nothing but the best for me
a brother-in-law who keeps my car running and my life manageable
nephews who can make everything right in the world if only for a moment
two large and crazy extended families that would change the world for me
friends tucked in far away corners who always see the best in me
a little girl who thinks I can do no wrong
that little girl’s parents who understand just how much I need her and them
an online community of amazing women who have taught me to haul up my own star

You are the beauty and the joy in my life. Always know how very much I adore, need, and appreciate all that you do.